My friend turned sister got married last month even If I did not get an invitation I would still have invited myself to the wedding (inside joke). It was a honour being asked to be one of her bridesmaid. I did a poll on my IG story and a lot of you voted I shared a post about my experience. Remember I will not be able to give every detail on the wedding because this post will be too long and to respect the others involved. However, I will be sharing the highlight of the experience and about choosing the right bridesmaid.
Most girls have planned their wedding day since they were young, this is not the case for me! I firmly believe that when the time comes, I will plan it. However, being a part of Funke’s wedding changed my perspective on this because I witnessed the magic that can happen when you have a vision, go for it and the satisfaction you get when that vision becomes a reality. Funke wanted a small and intimate wedding and that’s exactly what she got. Both her and her husband invited 40 guests, the wedding was held in a local reception and we went for dinner at the Lowry Hotel in Manchester. It was not a typical African wedding, and if you are a typical African person reading this, I know what’s going through your mind already. It just not common for a African to pull off a wedding strictly by invitation and have 40 guests and not have jollof rice, fried rice, iyan and egusi and the list could go on. But honesty guys I have never been to a more beautiful wedding. Witnessing this was so important to me because I have been to many weddings both for close friends and for professional purpose as I sang with my choir. Funke’s westernised personality and simplicity was reflected throughout the day; she was surrounded by people that meant the most to her, she was comfortable and there was a calm and loving vibe throughout the day.
Choosing your bridesmaid.
As a bride, it is important that your bridesmaids are made up of people who mean the most to you and have good intentions for you. While there is no set rule in place, it is advisable to have the same amount of bridesmaid as groomsmen (this can be hard if your partner does not have a lot of friends). Bridesmaids have a role! I want to stress this point because I have been to weddings where the bridesmaid don’t seem to have a clue of their role and as a result add more stress as opposed to making the day as stress free as possible.
The maid of honour is generally the bride’s right hand both before and on the day of the wedding. This person needs to possess specific skills – communication, organisation, planning and qualities – approachable, friendly, humble patient, tolerant and loving because otherwise you will end of losing more friends before your big day. Her duties include planning the bridal shower , helping the bride select her gown and help with sorting out invitations. I initially thought this role had to be given to your best friend but after the wedding I spoke to Stella who was Funke’s maid of honour and we spoke about how important the role is and making sure it is someone who can deliver with the rights sets of skills and qualities. Your ‘best-friend’ may not have these skills and qualities! The other bridesmaid should be available to provide support and assistance both to the bride and the maid of honour. They should also be willing to cooperate especially since they are there to make your day, this should not be an issue. However, as we are all humans, there will always be a conflict of interest which is okay and expected, having a small amount of might help with this.
Money- This might sound negative but you need people who are financially stable and can afford to spend money with you towards your big day. I do not think I need to say more on this but being bridesmaid is not just a fairy-tale role, it will cost you as you can imagine. There is expenses on transportation, the dress, make- up, hair and if you have an extra friend/ bride the list could go on so be prepared but always remember to remain true to yourself and be open to discuss this with the bride.
Prayer- This for me is so important, as a bride you want your bridesmaid to be prayerful! They should be able to pray in whatever way they know to ensure the day is a success. I kept this day in prayer especially when Funke told me she would love me to sing. My prayer game was even stronger! Singing at my sister’s wedding was a huge honour but also a huge commitment. I had never sang on my own at a wedding and I knew I could not mess up! But on the day, she cried so I think that is an indication that I sang well and this made my day knowing she could relate to the lyrics.
I sang two songs – All my life by KC and JOJO and The Vow by Timi Dakolo which was the winning song.
This brings me to the end of my post guys, let me know if you enjoyed this. I certainly enjoyed putting it together for you.
This post is dedicated to Funke and her husband Olatunji, I love you guys so much and I pray God blesses your union.
See you soon,